Laughing Lotus Love Blog

When I started teaching yoga almost four years ago, one of the most immediate urges I had was to get my butt back into therapy. I didn't have the clarity of mind to know why, I just knew I needed it. At my first session back, I told my therapist that I had been really tired, working all day teaching yoga, which I loved, but between my friends who were in my class and my roommate and my friends who didn't take my class and my boyfriend at the time, and me, I was TIRED. "Well, of course," she said,  "you're a healer now. Its the same rule when you're a healer as when you're on an airplane: you have to put the oxygen mask on yourself before you put it on someone else."  And from that point on, there's been only one thing that I am absolutely sure of, if I don't take really good care of myself, no one is going to get taken care of!

I also have many friends who are healers and we all struggle to find a way to have our full time jobs, to enjoy this incredible city with all of its incredible people, and to take care of ourselves, and it's always interesting to watch which one of these priorities flies out of the window first. I think that bit iss different for each of us. 

My oxygen mask is many different things: it's my therapist, healthy food, plenty of water, taking class, the students who spend time in class with me, all of my amazing teachers and friends. But most of all my oxygen mask is my breath, my sitting practice, which has become so sacred to me. Without that quiet time that I have to myself every morning...I wouldn't even know how to take care of myself. Without it, I don't think I would know who I really am (my breath) versus the stuff that my life is made of (everything else). It is where I get all of my most valuable information, and where I go to get inspiration from that never-ending well of my inhale and my exhale. 

If you don't already have a sitting practice, I CANNOT recommend it enough (all of my friends can vouch, I'm like, "talk to the hand until you sit on your butt"). All you need is you, a comfortable seat (a bolster or a few yoga blankets) and a kitchen timer. Start by setting your timer to 10 minutes. Just WATCH as all your stuff comes up and PRACTICE knowing that all that stuff is not you. You are infinite, beautiful, peaceful beyond peaceful--and how would you ever know it without stopping to notice?

Namaste!

Bhakti month at Laughing Lotus is a time of celebrating love in all its forms: romantic love, divine love, self love. Our yoga practice makes our connection with love even more rich, and all the more tangible. We become lovers of being in love, basking in the afterglow of how wide open our hearts can actually get through the practice of devotion.

But at some point, in some cold, harsh moment, we realize that all this love-giving and love-making will land us in a tear-filled heap of brokenness. Someone will break our heart, some moment will disappoint us, and just as quickly as we thought we had it all, our greatest joy can be taken away.

Intellectually, we know this to be true. Life teaches us again and again that love and loss go hand and hand, and that it's "better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all." But somehow this great glowing heart and the physical body that holds it can respond differently. We become scared, protective, and overly cautious of what feels like a wounded part of ourselves. We start to avoid moments or interactions that might stretch us too far. "I might get hurt!" we fear. We create versions of our lives that feel safe and predictable, thinking, "I never want to feel that kind of pain again!" Our physical body becomes more rigid, shoulders rounding and tension moving into the joints. We create an encasement around our emotional and spiritual selves of "protection" because the realities of life have felt too brutal. Humans have a very hard time reconciling that life involves both great love and great loss.

But I would like to suggest a concept that asks us to seriously step up to the spiritual plate. It's one I'm working on diligently and without quite having mastered it, it's something I do believe to be true: Our losses make our capability to love even greater--if we let them.

I once read a thought by a Talmudic Rabbi and this idea has given me motivation each time my heart has been broken. The saying goes: When the heart is broken wide open, GOD floods in.

What is God but pure, unblocked, unquestioned love? When life deals us a deck of cards that we judge as unfair or painful, don't we somehow end up growing to understand the meaning of that challenge at a later point in time? Can't we all agree that it's the challenging losses in life that have shaped us into the character-filled, dynamic, complex individuals we are?

So what if we take that a step further and as yogis, as seekers of light, we begin to accept moments of loss and challenge as opportune moments where we can let God flood in? Or, in other words, to become more loving beings?

If we have lost a great romantic love, we will most certainly appreciate the next great love when he or she walks into our lives, and with even greater depth. If we have lost someone to death, their memory and impact on our lives becomes even more precious. If we miscarry, the baby we eventually hold in our arms will be even more of a miracle. If we lose a job, we discover our own industrious nature to create the next unique opportunity.

But most importantly is that through our moments of suffering and loss we become part of a great chain of compassion, holding deep understanding for every other person who has felt a similar loss. To look in another person's eyes and to say, "I truly understand."

Now God is flooding in.

As we celebrate love and delight in its many forms, let us also dance with the highs and lows of life. Instead of resisting its flow, breathe into life, go with it, and watch your heart get bigger and wider with each incredible vinyasa.

Here are a few of my favorite heart opening asanas. Let each shape remind you that we have a choice to embrace the many dimensions of love.

Uttita Trikonasana with some extra love.

Allow your top arm to drift behind your back in triangle post. The hand will hold onto your upper thigh. Begin rolling your upper shoulder back, turning your ribs higher and leaning your upper body back into your supportive arm. Trust that you can help your heart further open.

Ardha Chandrasana and then some!

From half moon pose, begin to bend your elevated leg at the knee. The top hand will reach back and find the ankle. Keep breathing as you find the beautiful balance between staying grounded and opening the heart.

Anjanayasana with all your intention!

Once you have your back leg grounded into the floor, use your shin and front foot to ground the pose. Your intention to lift and extend your heart space will allow this pose to naturally expand. Think of how far you're willing to open to every experience of your life and let this shape be a symbol of that willingness!

Ustrasana to the max!

It can be easy to lose your breath in camel pose, just as it can be easy to "not breathe" when times are tough. The key is to breathe confidently and fully even as you completely urge your heart higher and higher.

 Experience the delight of opening your heart so fully! Namaste!

         I don't know about you but the winter months are very challenging for me. I struggle to stay in balance and not get sick. I am getting better at it as the years go on. I used to get sick every single winter with a bad cold, or a sinus infection that turned into bronchitis. But with the help of my yoga practice, I am finding it a lot easier to stay in balance.

        When the winter months come and it is dark and cold, we must pay even more attention to our health, eating right, staying hydrated, and getting plenty of rest. It is also easier to get depressed when our energy is lower. So keep yourself warm and stay inspired.  Study something that you have always wanted to know more about. Read a good book suggested to you by a friend.  Sit down somewhere cozy, light some incense and a candle, nestle up to a great book of devotional poetry, like Rumi or Hafiz to warm your spirit and wake yourself up! Beautiful background music will inspire your own inner music to sing!

       When it comes to your yoga practice, climb onto your mat daily and make it devotional! Fire up your practice with some purifying Breath of Fire Pranayama. Start in a comfortable cross-legged seat with your arms extended up into a V overhead. Curl your fingertips in toward the pads of your hands and reach your thumbs in toward each other like a spiritual hitchhiker. Begin with rapid inhalation and exhalation, in and out through the nose. Take an equal emphasis on the inhalation and the exhalation and continue to pump it in and out rhythmically and rapidly. Light that internal fire, the desire and discipline to go out beyond the limitations of your mind. In Sanskrit it is called "Tapas"- the discipline which will carry you through the dark, cold months of winter. Fan that flame with your breath. Ancient yogis were sometimes called "Tapasvin" which means, one who takes on Tapas, or voluntary self-discipline.

        Stoke it up by moving through some grounding standing poses. Feel your presence in the moment as your connect to the feet sturdy on the mat. Add in some devotional warriors, allowing yourself to surrender into the moment, bow down to your life as it is right here, right now. It is very humbling. Rise up and tip it back into a peaceful warrior, draping your arm down the back leg as you extend up through the other arm. You will start to feel the peace as you flow through these movements with the current of your breath carrying you into the moment.

       Make sure to spend plenty of time at the end of your practice down on the floor forward bending, diving in to your center to honor the process you have been through to open up to your life. Lastly, take an extra long savasana, resting flat on your back. Roll up a blanket as a bolster under your knees to release the low back, place a blanket under your head as a little pillow and even cover up with a blanket to stay warm, and settle in for a deep relaxing, rejuvenating rest after all the movement. If you have an eye pillow, place it over your eyes for the ultimate dropping down into the moment. Devote yourself to uncovering who you are beyond all the thinking. Our minds are always so busy, now is the time to stop thoughts and see who you are when all the judgments and the attachments have been released. Experience the vast space, the warmth and the freedom that is inherent in every moment!

Playlist:

"Mumtaz," by Bombay Dub Orchestra

"Temple Gateway," by Desert Dwellers

"Something About Us," by Daft Punk

"I feel Awake," by Suphala feat. Edie Brickell

"Ganesh Is Fresh," by MC Yogi feat. Jai Uttal

"Smithereens," by Annie Lennox

"This Must Be The Place," by Talking Heads

"Inside," by Moby

If It Is Not Too Dark by Hafiz

Go for a walk, if it is not too dark.

Get some fresh air, try to smile.

Say something kind to a safe-looking stranger, if one happens by. 

Always exercise your heart's knowing. 

You might as well attempt something real along this path:

Take your spouse or lover into your arms

The way you did when you first met.

Let tenderness pour from your eyes

The way the Sun gazes warmly on the earth.

Play a game with some children.

Extend yourself to a friend.

Sing a few ribald songs to your pets and plants -

Why not let them get drunk and wild!

Let's toast

Every rung we've climbed on Evolution's ladder.

Whisper, "I love you! I love you!" to the whole mad world. 

Let's stop reading about God -We will never understand Him.

Jump to your feet, wave your fists,

Threaten and warn the whole Universe

That your heart can no longer live Without real love!

WHEN GRAPES TURN by RUMI

When grapes turn

To wine, they long for our ability to change.

When stars wheel

Around the North Pole,

They are longing for our growing consciousness.

Wine got drunk with us,

Not the other way.

The body developed out of us, not we from it.

We are bees, And our body is a honeycomb.

We made the body, cell by cell we made it.

Have you ever looked at the clock and it happened to be 11:11? Or thought about the coincidence of numbers? This year on 11/11 I discovered a podcast called 11:11. On the same day, my friend Alison found the companion magazine called 11:11.  Then, while listening to the host of the 11:11 podcast, I sat down to write this blog post and noticed it was 11:11 AM. 

The amount of numerical coincidences got me thinking about patterns, and the way that being aware allows us to notice even more patterns. When we open our minds to notice patterns and what's going on in the world around us, we start to see the way ordinary objects seem to operate in tandem with the rest of the universe as part of an intelligently designed system. When we pay attention and allow our consciousness to notice these subtleties, it helps us to imagine that we are a part of that universe, that our lives are moving on the trajectory as part of a larger picture. 

Paying attention to patterns in the external world helps us to acknowledge our internal emotional and physical habits. We can begin to ask ourselves if forcing that pose is really what our body wants to be doing, or if we keep wanting to rely on a friend for emotional support, even though the friend never seems to be available. Just by paying attention, we can evaluate what's working for us. The host of the podcast asks a question relevant not only to our yoga practice, but to the way we exist in the world: "Are you willing to experience yourself in a greater way right now?" By cultivating an awareness of our perspective in that moment, we can figure out if that's the point of view we actually want to have. Only by knowing where you are can you decide if you want to change. 

Dear Friends, Family, Students and Fellow Teachers-

I have a confession to make. I am brutally and inconsolably impatient. I want IT immediately if not sooner. What is IT? Anything that gives me some kind of satisfaction: a well-taught class, a handstand in the center of the room, the sense that I'm in the perfect relationship--you name it!

With the presence of impatience comes the open-ended invitation to all its closest friends: worry, agitation, stress, and anxiety. I know I'm not alone in my plight. We all find ourselves in these cycles of longing and consequential dissatisfaction. Despite the incredible impact my yoga practice has had on my impatient tendencies, I started realizing that days were zooming by and I wasn't spending nearly enough time in gratitude or doing what Dana Flynn reminds us to do: "meditate on our beautiful lives!"

It wasn't until I discovered the restorative yoga practice that certain truths began to reveal themselves to me. The sutras say that at our core we are already ompletely peaceful and whole, that we need only remove the illusion that we are anything but that. During a restorative practice, I would literally feel the physical manifestations of worry and anxiety melt away. My breathing would open up, and that place that is always peaceful inside of me seemed like a place I could actually visit.

The restorative poses are designed so that the body begins a process of slowing down and softening from the inside out. Organs relax, muscles release, thoughts slow down, and the nervous system shifts from a reactive state to a more passive one. The process is shockingly scientific but the experience is blissful.

This type of relaxation isn't as far from you as you think. With limited time and few props, this powerful and important process of letting go can be yours. All you need are two blankets and two blocks. Try these poses at home or before your vinyasa class begins!

1. Seated Meditation: Begin with a moment in a comfortable seat, eyes closed. Tap into your breath and let it fill your body. Even if your thoughts are running wild or your body is tight with tension, simply invite yourself into your restorative practice- a time that is meant for you to just BE. The poses will do the work for you; you just need to show up. Sit here for a minute or two and focus on your breath.  
   
   
   
2. Restorative Child's Pose: Roll two blankets into a bolster. Prop the bolster up on a block. Sit on your heels and widen your knees around the bolster, draping your chest forward. Turn your head to one side and hug the bolster giving a sense of security to yourself. If the tops of your feet are sensitive, you can place a blanket under your shins and feet. Take deep breaths and relax here for about five minutes.
   
   
   

3. Restorative Backbend/Goddess Pose: Take your rolled up blanket/bolster (make sure its rolled tightly so that it feels firm). Simply bring your lower back to the bolster. Lay back with the bolster along the entire length of your spine. Bring the soles of your feet together and allow your knees to widen. Place one block outside each thigh for support. Take deep breaths, allowing your belly to become soft, like a lagoon. Stay in this pose for up to ten minutes to really go deep. 

4. Legs Up the Wall: Take your two blankets. Make them into a square shape and stack one on top of the other and slide them against the wall. Sit on the blankets with your right body against the wall. Roll onto your back and swing your legs up the wall. Allow your lower back to ground and your arms to splay. The edge of the blankets should be right under your shoulder blades. Stay here five to seven minutes, enjoying this shift in perspective and blood flow. With deep breaths, this pose can have a very calming effect. 
   
   

5. Savasana: A simple way to make savasana extra comfy is to roll up two blankets and to prop them under your knees. This will help your lower back release. Ask your body and spirit to let go completely. Stay here for for five to ten minutes. 
   
   
   

Come experience these shapes and more, as I host a Restorative Workshop, a true SPA FOR YOUR SOUL on December 12^th, from 2:30 to 4:30 at Laughing Lotus. Sign up ahead here! 

Together, let's meditate on our beautiful lives!

Happy Holidays!