As a child growing up in a Russian-Jewish immigrant household, I was quickly programmed to think (and maybe even believe) in terms of worst-case scenarios. I learned instantly how to allow my mind to go to all those dark places whenever there was any uncertainty about the outcome of a situation: Why wasn't papa home yet? What if I forget all the moves during my upcoming dance performance? What if...The list goes on and on.
Not knowing any other way to exist, my inclination towards constant anxiety was a source of connection and a deeply shared bond amongst my family members. It made sense in the light of historical social and political injustice of life in the former Soviet Union, the constant mistrust of abusive authority figures, and the fact that both my parents each had to separate from their parents, not knowing whether they would ever see one another again, in order to come this country. In her beautiful book Radical Acceptance, Tara Brach summarizes this pattern in an old joke about a Jewish mother who sends a telegram to her son, "Start worrying, details to follow."
In yoga and meditation, we not only train the mind to remember the blessings of being alive in the present, but also practice surrendering our misconception that by worrying we can control the outcome of situations. When we practice leaning into the body, we practice having faith in the mysteries of the universe, in the path that we are already on as being the right one no matter what obstacles we are presented with. When we lean into the back body we practice trusting in things we even cannot see with our eyes but know in our hearts to be true. We can call this ultimate surrender to the Divine or Cosmic force Ishwara pranidana, the last of the niyamas, or ways in which our relationship with and perceptions of the world affect our life experience.
Leaning into the Back Body and Opening the Heart:
Playlist:
1. Barenboim & Co - Don Agustin Bardi
2. Vaquinha Mansa - Cesaria Evora
3. L'Amour - Rouge Rouge
4. Max Richter - On The Nature of Daylight
5. Charlie Haden and Pat Methany- Love Theme from Cinema Paradiso
Begin with pushpaputa mudra, palms full of flower petals, the sacred shape honoring the potential of growth and possibility, abundance, and the blessings that already exist in your life.
1. Knees, chest, chin (Ashtanga Namsakar): From downward dog, soften your knees, then chest, then chin to the ground. Stay here to open up the heart and throat chakra, the center of speaking your own truth.
2. Crescent lunge: From downward dog, breathe your right leg high into the air behind you. As you exhale, step your foot between your hands and soften your back knee to the ground with some padding if you need it. Walk your hands onto your right thigh, allowing your hips to sink forward. Hook your thumbs and sweep your palms all the way up above your head. Practice closing your eyes and leaning into your shoulder blades and back body, remembering you are supported.
3. Ardha chandrasana with backbend variation: From triangle pose, crawl your right fingertips forward as you gracefully shift your weight into the right leg. Lift the back leg up, stacking left hip on top of right. Bend your top knee and reach back for your foot with your hand. Go ahead and let that foot kick back into your hand to open up through the front of your thigh and chest. Then see if you can slip the bottom hand up to grab the back foot as well. Practice breathing into what's behind you, forgiving yourself for any tendencies or habits you're still holding onto from the past, exhaling to move any lingering negativity out of you.
4. Shiva side-plank variation: Shiva is the deity we call upon when we are yearning to participate in the Cosmic Dance of transformation. From peaceful warrior, cartwheel your hands to the ground and roll onto the outer edge of your right foot, right hand planted beneath your shoulder, into a side plank. Lifting your hips up and pressing the sole of the bottom foot the ground, see if you can bend the top knee and kick it back into your hand in a variation of Dancing Shiva. Try to keep your knees pretty close together.
5. Dhanurasana rolling side to side: One of the effects of constant fear and doubt is we lose a sense of humor and the ability to laugh at ourselves. Even as devoted yogis, it's liberating to smile and connect to a playful energy during your time on the mat. As you come into your bow pose, keep your knees close together and the back of your neck long. Reach your feet towards the back of the room. Then, as you inhale, rock up until you lift a little higher, then roll onto your right side, keeping hold of your feet. Try the other side. Enjoy rolling side to side as many times as feels good to you!
6. Ustrasana and ustrasana drop back: WIth some padding under your knees, come up to stand on your shins at the top of your mat. First try camel pose (ustrasana) a couple times, resting as you sit on your heels in between. Then, when you're ready, come back up again in one movement.
If you're ready for a more advanced heart-opener and have a full wheel practice, try dropping back from ustrasana. Keeping your toes tucked as you inhale lift your arms up, find that sense of trust and surrender as you reach your arms overhead and back toward the earth behind you. Let your palms find the ground in a full wheel shape as you roll back and use the balls of your tucked-under toes to help you up. Breathe into the beauty of your life in this very moment.
7. Savasana: Find some sweetness as you slow your breath down and practice the ultimate form of surrender as you roll your body, feeling its weight and releasing the fight against the constantly doubting mind, letting your breath roll through and cleanse every channel of your being.
Enjoy the warmth that the back of your heart has to offer. Namaste!
